Pirates vs Ninjas

Why are you posting this, Arnav?
TO MAKE A POINT


Pirates have all the following:

• Guns. Not dumb modern guns. Guns that used gunpowder, and wood instead of steel.
• Swords. Not weird Asian ninja swords. Cool, curved, cutlasses.
• Gold. Ninjas will NEVER have as much gold/treasure/booty as pirates.
• Beards. Just sayin'.
• Eye patches. Ninjas don't get to have eye patches, and see in the dark.
• Hook for a hand. Something that lets you stab things with your hand, and doubles as a weapon? YES.
• Peg leg. Ninjas have all their limbs. Ew.
• Cool universal logo. There IS some variation, but it's usually just the skull and cross-bones. Do ninjas have a universal logo? Maybe a random red dot on a white flag. Not a REAL logo.
• Ships. How do ninjas go from continent to continent, and steal things? They don't. They're not pirates.
• Explosives. Would you not love to plant a barrel of gunpowder on an enemy ship (that you got on to by swinging across from a rope) and then swing back to your ship and watch the enemy ship explode?
• Captains. Ninjas have no captains. There's no sense of leadership.
• Cool way of talking. Ninjas don't. Maybe whispers, but anyone can whisper. Not everyone can pull off the whole pirate "arrrrrrrgh" thing.
• Cool hats. Ninjas get headbands, but that's NOTHING compared to the cool curvy pirate hats.
• Flying pets! The higher-up pirates (Edward Teach i.e Blackbeard) got cool birds like Falcons, and the other ones still got parrots and monkeys (monkeys don't fly, but still. do you want a monkey? are you allowed to have one, as a ninja?)
• "Teams". Pirates have a crew. Ninjas are forced to work alone, and if they work in a team, they ALWAYS lose. If you've ever read a comic or watched an anime or something, you'll know that the more enemy ninjas there are, the less chance they have of winning. The more pirates there are, the more your butt is about to get kicked.

Ninjas have the following:

• stealth
• nothing
• they suck