Genius

I once read a series called the "Genius Wars". It was great. There's very few books that include anything computer-related, and there's very few that include anything that's not first grade level computer stuff. This book suited me perfectly, but there was one part that I loved because it described me so much, and made me hate myself.

It was a point in the book where Cadel (the main character, who happens to be an amazingly genius teenage hacker) was feeling particularly sad because he was pretty antisocial. In the bathroom, there were two boys trying to make a small bomb out of something (nothing serious, something that would explode and liquid would fly everywhere). Cadel then showed them how to make it 10 times better. He should have just walked away and accepted that geniuses are not accepted in society. Instead, he basked in the glory of having impressed two people who were far less smart than him, and whose opinion would mean nothing to him for the rest of his life. So, while he was basking in this social acceptance/impressiveness, he realized that he could just keep impressing people and he would be socially accepted for the rest of his life. After he talked to his psychologist about it (who happened to be the protagonist, but also Cadel's father... it's a REALLY good story), his psychologist told him that true geniuses are not accepted in society, because no one understands them properly.

I feel the same way about geeks. Even nerds (yes, there is a DIFFERENCE) have their own little society. Geeks? They're few and far apart (at least, in my age/year/place/life), so there's no group. Geeks are the ones who have spent their whole lives online. I know a few semi-geeks at my school, but gamers don't count. Gamers are the ones who yell "l0l n00b!" at their screen after dying 4 times in a row in Black Ops. 13 year old gamers are the worst kinds of people to deal with. 13 year old PC gamers are a little more acceptable, but they need to have memorized the Fibonacci Sequence up to at least 144, pi to at least 3.141592653589, or semi-know a programming language and how to use it. Otherwise, they're unbearable too. Where was I...? Oh, yeah.

I know no real geeks at my school. I know wannabe geeks, I know /b/ros, I know gamers, nerds, etc. but no geeks. No one who can program, no one who enjoys a computer challenge, no one who has ever encrypted anything in BASE64, no one who has used a keylogger (sorry!), no one who knows what RAM is/does, no one who can tell what 1000 is in binary, etc. I'm not trying to say I'm the only geek, but what I'm insinuating or implying is that I AM THE ONLY GEEK.

Therefore, my level of social acceptance is really low unless I start basking in those moments when I impress people. I hate impressing people though, because then

1. They take you for granted sometimes. Oh yeah, he did that one cool thing, but he can't do anymore.
2. You start making a name for yourself, but you're still just that one kid who can do that one thing with the computer thingy
3. I realize, "Hey. This will mean nothing to me next week, next month, next year, next decade, etc. It only means something to me in this moment. Why am I trying to impress this stranger again...?"
4. Then I realize, "Oh, it's because there's no other way I can bring up a conversation with anyone because they talk about stuff like sports/normal people things and I just say "...k."
5. Then I realize, "If we had a geek here, I could talk about anything/everything to them, but we don't, so I can't."

So, yeah. Basically my points are these:

• Social acceptance
• it's fucking HARD if you're a geek

French, and Mainstream Music

I had French finals this morning. They were easymode. I wish I finished a little faster. I was one of the last two in the class. I remembered a few words that I normally don't, so I was happy about that... idk. It was too easy. There was no challenge. I flew through the multiple choice, wrote down words for the 50-word notes, and then came home. Here I am now. So, on to a more important topic.
Mainstream Music.

First off, I don't even like the word "mainstream". It's only used by people who care about whether things are mainstream. I don't care if someone else likes something I like. I don't care if everyone likes something I like. I don't care if no one likes something I like. The point is, if I like it, why should I pay attention to what others think of it? Obviously this doesn't apply to everything. "lol i like smoking i don't care what others think!!@11111!11!11!" No. Smoking = detrimental to one's health. Listening to mainstream music? Not detrimental to health (maybe social health). Everyone wants to be the person who listens to the stuff no one else listens to. They all want to listen to some really underground, obscure rap, not because they like it better than other stuff, but because when they're asked about their taste in music, they can puff up their chest and say, "I listen to -group no one has ever heard of here-!" In my opinion, this is how people get famous anyways. Maybe someone DOES like them better than other mainstream stuff; but that doesn't mean they need to make tons of statuses/tweets/posts/whatever the fuck else they do because they don't like mainstream things (TUMBLR)/other about what their listening to. It means they're entitled to their own taste in music and they shouldn't care whether people like Arnav will listen to the mainstream stuff like "Titanium" by David Guetta.

The word "mainstream" has popped up far too much in my life recently. So, maybe this blog post will ward it off. Hopefully. I AM TITAAAAAAANIIIIIUUUUUUUUMMMMMM  wubwubwuwbwubwubwuwbwubwubwuwbuwbwubwubwuwbwuwuwuwbwubwubwubwuwbubwub

Anger Outlet

I need a new outlet for my anger. I almost made a really short post on here because I was angry, and then realized that it's not a proper outlet. If I start using my blog as an anger outlet (or anywhere on the internet, for that matter) I would appear to be an angry, terrible child who hates his parents (kind of like vacation photos make someone appear happy all the time, because they're smiling in every picture). Everyone needs a good anger outlet. For some people it's punching their pillow, for some it's rapping, for some it's poetry, and sometimes people even use things like Facebook. Technically, blogging about how much I hate my life would work as an anger outlet, but I don't really hate my life. I just don't like it particularly at the moment. In fact, blogging about anger outlets is making me feel better. I hope my anger doesn't show through these words. I'm gonna go listen to some music and cheer myself up in a bit, but first, I'm going to find a new anger outlet. When I was 12 I used to scream into my pillow sometimes, and I think I might start doing that again. I don't like doing that though, because it's not the same as punching something. Violence, however, is never the answer. Come to think of it, instead of having an outlet, maybe I should just learn to control myself. That never works though. Hmmm. I'll think about this for awhile, because even though it might not seem like a lot, I really need some way to get rid of my anger when I'm angry. People have told me just to smile, and it automatically releases dopamine in your brain (or something similar to dopamine, I don't know the exact spelling) which will make you happier. But,

1. Who the hell smiles when they're angry
2. Why would I think of smiling when I'm angry
3. That would look weird, it would be a fake smile
4. What if my mind just associates anger with smiling or something and then whenever I smile I get angry (yeah, I obviously don't understand psychology/biology/whatever this falls into that well, but still)

So, I'll just stay angry when I'm angry, methinks. Until my next post, just know this:
.999999999... = 1 no matter what ANYONE says ever

List of Idols

On twitter just now, I noticed that I (very) frequently change my "list of idols". So, I'm gonna make a full list of my current idols, and possibly look back on it later and add to it or just laugh about it. Anyways, here goes:

• Salman Khan. Founder of Khan Academy. Graduated MIT in 1998. Is the same race as me. Is awesome.
• Paul Ekman. Innovator in reading of facial expressions. Created METT. Is also awesome.
• Sherlock Holmes. Although he is a fictional character, he's pretty much the ideal genius. He is a "good guy", but works on his own (like batman). He uses his genius in a way that astounds people and always helps. Is also pretty awesome.

I think three is a good number to start with. I've had countless idols in the past, but these are the three that came to my mind immediately when I thought "idol".

School + Whatver Else Was On My Mind When I Wrote This

Wow. Just found out my blog isn't blocked at school. May or may not actually make use of this. People behind me are playing cards and laughing. About 75% of the kids in 8th grade are on a school field trip, to Washingon D.C. That means

// okay. So I was in class, and apparently blogging isn't allowed.
// ( it is, but our substitute was kinda harsh )
// I'm gonna continue the story from my current perspective.
// it's half an hour after me getting kicked off the class computer.
// I asked to go to the library. I'm currently typing this on a school library computer.
// anyways, continuing story now.

That means people who didn't go on the trip got grouped together, and now we're going from class to class just chilling. Some are playing cards, some are cursing out the teacher (not gonna go too far into detail, but that was hilarious), and some are watching wrestling matches online (he got kicked of the computer for this too, at the same time I did). Our anonymous teacher (I'm not gonna call anyone out online) was a bit angry at some of the kids in our class, and she didn't seem to be very happy in general. That was possibly the most hilarious 42 minutes of my life.

I'm gonna go play some online games now (I don't know why I said go play, considering I'll still be sitting in the same spot and fully able to keep blogging), because I can't execute any code on these computers besides javascript in the browser (and that's only entertaining the first few times, and then you show it to one person who shows it to everyone and it's not impressive to anyone anymore :( ). The end of that last sentence was confusing because I had a frowny face and a close paren really close to each other. But yeah, most coding related websites are blocked as well (codeacademy is actually the only one that came to mind, because it's the only "coding" site I've tried to go on in school). Some people ask me why I don't just bypass security (it's actually really easy, the school doesn't know much about Tor or booting into Linux or web proxies (werll okay they know about them but it's easy to take the source code for one and upload it to your own website)), but I hate going through all the trouble when it takes 5 hours to load a page. If I just wait until I get home, I have unlimited access to anything on the internet which is amazing for me. I'm surprised my blog wasn't blocked (well the actual blog is, but the dashboard is fine, which is why I can post this.)

So this is probably my conclusion. I felt like writing one this time; normally I don't. I'm gonna think of a really deep quote to end this with.
"They don't think it be like it is, but it do." - Oscar Gamble
(Wow I can't believe I remembered the guy's name) (I promise I didn't google it this time)

GGWP.

Antisocial

So, this really popular person had a party at school. Naturally, I wasn't invited. I didn't expect to be. My friends were; that made me a bit sad. It sucks to be the guy who sits at home playing League of Legends rather than enjoying with friends. I'm kind of an extroverted geek, in my opinion. I like to go to parties, but only parties with people who have the same interests as me. That makes it kind of hard to go to parties... (/humor). The real kicker, the reason I'm sad, the reason I'm making this post, is that tonight, I looked out a window and saw the Big Dipper. No big deal, right? Well, after the party was over everyone got on facebook and talked about how the nerds at the party (not me) all showed the other people the Big Dipper in the sky. I don't know why, but as soon as I saw that I got really sad. I saw the Big Dipper, too! But I saw it at home while playing video games. Something tells me I need to be less antisocial.

MIT

This post is gonna be about MIT.
a. I'm a bit young to be worrying about college. I get that.
b. Even though I'm a bit young, MIT sounds/looks like the best place on the planet.

I want to work at Google, too. Big plans. It feels like I wanna just fast forward through high school and apply to MIT. I don't know if I would make it, and I'm trying not to get my hopes up or put all my eggs in one basket, but wow. It just seems so much more fun than other colleges. Where else to people hack their school? Where else can you walk into a room where everyone thinks the same way you do? What other school compares their applicants to hikers? I love this. Here's a video, if you don't know much about MIT:

Doesn't that look amazing? Google is the same way. It's like a version of MIT, but instead of staying until you graduate, you can stay forever. You can do what you love, and know that everyday you're making a difference. I'm smiling as I'm writing this because I'm thinking about it.

Default Template

I'm ashamed of not knowing HTML. Or CSS. Or knowing any programming language, for that matter. I like to call myself a "programmer" in my head, but I don't thoroughly know ANY programming language. I'm egotistic because as of 8th grade I'm the only kid that can do a Hello World application in any language. I showed a couple classmates some JavaScript and it made me more egotistic. I need to stop doing that. It's an in-the-moment thing. I wanna impress people, so I show them the only thing I know how to do good.



(that was surprisingly deep, all I wanted to convey from this post was that I don't know how to make my own blog template, so I'm sticking with one of the default ones until I can.)